This holiday season has been tough for me. Even before the tragic events last Friday, I've been on an emotional roller coaster. In my final weeks of pregnancy my emotions are on full blast and I can't quite get into the holiday cheer this season. It's been so difficult for me to feel merry and bright when everywhere I turn bad news creeps into every corner of this world. The events at Sandy Hook has haunted me all week and then I found out two days later that an old high school friend's son passed away on Saturday, he was only 8 1/2 months old. I haven't stopped thinking about my friend or about the families of Sandy Hook, both events so close to Christmas and it breaks my heart to think about the loss they will feel this holiday.
And since we won't be traveling home for Christmas this year, I have a bittersweet feeling about starting my own family traditions while missing the traditions I've known and loved throughout my childhood. It will be nice to have a quiet Christmas with just Fab and Mila but I get sad we won't be home with our families enjoying Christmas eve and morning with everyone. The excitement of all the kids opening presents and hanging out in our new Christmas pj's, just a few things I'll miss this year.
And yet, I've been playing the Christmas music, baking and decorating cookies, reading the Christmas classics to Mila, watching Elf and trying to get into the holiday cheer for Mila who can barely contain herself because Santa is coming to town. Feliz Navidad is on replay in both the house and the car and she heard a new rendition in the car the other day by Celine Dion that she now requests as the "new Feliz Navidad".
It wasn't until tonight when we watched the SNL Christmas Special that I finally realized I need to step it up for Mila and be bright and merry. There are so many things to be grateful for this year and Mila is so joyful, happy and full of life. As the SNL special was near the end, one of my all time favorite clips came on and gave me a really good, hard belly laugh. This is exactly what I needed to put me in the Christmas cheer. Every time I see it I find something else that makes me laugh... although I couldn't find the entire clip, I'm still laughing as I watch this little snippet.
So as I wrap all the presents for Mila, enjoy the last few days I can play Christmas music, I will remember that this is Mila's Christmas and I need to enjoy every last minute of it.. the day will go by fast.